Welcome to UKAuthors

  Login or CLICK HERE to Register

     HOME  ·  SUBMIT  ·  UKAWIKI  ·  FORUM  ·  UKAPRESS  ·  RESOURCES  ·  LATEST 50  ·  NEWSLETTER ·  LINKS  ·  CONTACT

 UKA Content
 Home
 
 Writers' Links
 

 
Keep UKA Writing!
Here's how you can pay your £10 annual subscription fee
Please consider donating. Every little bit helps!

Recent donations :

2010

17 Feb Anon
3 Mar Anon
4 Mar woodbine
23 Mar Gee
7 May Anon
13 May e-griff
14 June Anon
24 July chrissy

Your generosity is very much appreciated. Every penny is vital and helps keep your site going.


 
WHO'S ONLINE

You are a Guest on UKAuthors. Register now by clicking here
Guests Online:82

 
Random Story
Click to read a randomly selected story

No Audio on this Submission There is no audio for this submission
Fiction: A conserve for meat or cheese. 26-10-2007 - by beard   (529 words)
Drama

This is the first of my 'keeping it short' try outs. I realised (or was told) that things I was writing were getting long and I should try and concentrate on shorter things. This piece is the first. As I said early on. Well, there we go. Let me know what you think.

Jack picked up the little jar and read the label. “Lime and gooseberry conserve for meat or cheese.” He pressed his lips together and pushed them up his teeth. The little jar went back in the fridge and Jack picked up the mayonnaise.

The jar sat on the shelf, unable to move, and watched the door of the fridge swing shut. The light blinked out and the jar was alone. Surrounded by dead and motionless food; it started to weep. Tiny beads formed on the outside of the glass; rolling down they began to weaken the glue on the back of the label.

The jar, or Jarcon Ligoo-miche as it was also known, was not from Earth. Yes; it had been bought in specialist supermarket around Christmas last year, but that had been a mistake. Not entirely Jarcon’s fault and not from a lack of preparation.

A hero among his people Jarcon had travelled for sixteen lifetimes to reach Earth. His body slowed to near death; the ship piloted by the most expensive biological computers built from Jarcon’s detailed designs. The planning was as good as it could be but errors had crept in.

In the fridge, cuddled by darkness, Jarcon - its label hanging limp and useless - felt naked and totally alone.

Jack finished his dinner and cleared the table. The plates went on the side, not washed and quickly forgotten. Looking back he noticed the mayonnaise. That would have to go back in its rightful place.

Just as Jack was reaching for the egg based condiment his phone rang. In the fridge Jarcon jumped, it had been sleeping. It heard the sound of the phone as was reminded of the mating call of a bird on its home planet. The muffled sound of Jack’s voice confused Jarcon until it remembered where it was; locked and helpless in the cold darkness.

The phone call finished, angry at the end. Listening carefully Jarcon could hear Jack’s approaching foot steps. With a jerk that made two milk bottles jangle together the fridge door was pulled open. Light flooded in from the outside and the internal bulb dazzled the little jar’s senses.

Jarcon watched as Jack’s frustration grew; trying to fit the mayonnaise onto the top shelf. Jarcon’s shelf. There wasn’t much room and the other items started to shuffle around to make space.

It was a box of tofu that made the final attack. Jarcon was nudged too far and fell; smashing against the floor, glass flying in all directions. The delicate lime and gooseberry jelly, the medium of Jarcon’s soul, began to congeal on the floor. The last sound Jarcon heard was Jack swearing. A string of words the broken jar did not understand.

Burying the pieces of the shattered traveller in a plastic bag under the sink Jack flicked off the lights in the kitchen and went to bed; alone.








Advanced Critique Encouraged
Average Score: 8.5  /  Votes: 2



Printer Friendly Page  Printer Friendly Page  Send to a Friend  Send to a Friend

Nominate this piece for Future UKAuthors Anthologies




Add this author to your favourites list   Add this story to your favourites list

Comment posted by admin (26-10-2007 07:45) Send admin a Private Message

Bloody hell, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry - poor Jarcon!

I think I'll laugh...better medicine

Reply from beard
Thank you. :)
Laughter is the best medicine. Apart from when you have a stomach staple. Then its probably best to steer clear of a good chortle.


Comment posted by admin (26-10-2007 08:16) Send admin a Private Message

Bloody hell, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry - poor Jarcon!

I think I'll laugh...better medicine

Reply from beard
with respect:

Ditto


Comment posted by admin (26-10-2007 08:18) Send admin a Private Message

Ooops, looked like I laughed twice! Ah well...

Reply from beard
wow, admin spam.
That has to be some kind of Honor!


Comment posted by e-griff (27-10-2007 05:37) Send e-griff a Private Message

I liked this! A cute little story. Critique? Well,

It could have done with a bit more checking - punctuation and grammar wandered slightly for me. And what about that 'egg based condiment' why do that? Happy to give a blow-by blow if you want.

There were some parts that didn't add to the story (his full name, for instance) and for me there was potential to spoon in a bit more fun based on the premise you set up - a good idea. :-) Might be a good prose challenge for us to write our own versions of it --- I'd have him making up to the yoghurt and being rebuffed - or thinking he's the only alien, and at the end he's bemoaning his fate and all the jars and packets start speaking out and arguing. :-)

Reply from beard
Hi E-g.
Thank you very much for your comments. I am glad you (over all) enjoyed it.
Hmm, the spelling was checked (by me and others) but as always things slip through. :) Ill have another go at it. Punctuation..um that I could do with some help on.

The 'egg based condiment' was because I didn't want to say Mayonnaise _again_. I was trying to think of something to call it without using 'jar' of M.

I like the idea of others writing similar shorts. That would be fun. However, maybe each person could do a different Item. I do like your idea of JLM thinking he was alone, but actually the others items were all 'special' as well. The fridge being an interstellar jail or something. Not sure. I was thinking of trying out different condiments later one.

Thanks again
Brd.


Please Login or register to post comments

YOUR ACCOUNT  ·  SUBMIT  ·  UKAWIKI  ·  FORUM  ·  UKAPRESS  ·  RESOURCES  ·  LINKS  ·  CONTACT
Need help? Contact UKA admin HERE

By using this site you agree to be bound by our terms & conditions | Please also read our copyright notice.
UKAuthors.com Group © 2002 - 2010. All rights reserved.