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Random Story |
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Fiction: Uninvited Guest 08-12-2008 - by cat
(349 words) |
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Sharna is an underling, she brings a message from another world
Is everything so set in stone? Both man and women, are our fates aligned? It is not my dreams that I am afraid of, but the reality within them. Nothing to me is of little or no consequence, only the prime evil self will be limitless in earning enlightenment. No man, nor thing or even entity has brave enugh a soul when void of expression. Keep your candid remarks, your impudence, your folly.
I fear not the coming of this tide, the quickening of your reverence will sufficiently stem my temprement and mend my wounded pride, but wait, you may think me rude or impetuous? And it is true! But I am by no means idol in my own contempt!
I see the world a little differently, perhaps I should explain...
I am an underling, my soul is compromised. I cross from this world to the next but you can not see me, for I do not exist, yet! I will be plain, there is no god! There never was, but on the flipside there is no devil, clouds ans silver linings.
My name is Sharna and in my world, soon your world, the population is overflowing, infact it's epidemic. Like your prisons.
I do not have the time to go into great detail, but your species will soon become extinct and we will spill over and consume the last of your resorces leaving your planet barren. A flat scrubland unproductive and in ill repair. It is inevitable and I am sorry.
My watchful keeper makes steps! He is forever suspicious, little passes him. He has both the ears of a coaltitang (a beastly mammel in my world ) and the forsight of a bat ( a nocturnal animal from your planet ) He is a loathsom creature but I abide him. His mattered hair amuses me, how he scratches and bites and rubs. When he sleeps I kick him. I must go now for he has come and will no doubt have mischiefs and bring pains but if I can I will return.
Advanced Critique Encouraged
Average Score: 0 / Votes: 0
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Comment posted by Sunken
(08-12-2008 02:36)
Send Sunken a Private
Message | Hello Cat person. Welcome to uka. Sci-fi seems to get a bit of a raw deal on uka I've noticed. I'm as guilty as anyone for tending to overlook it. I enjoyed this tho. You kept it brief and dramatic. Couple of typos in the line -
'...but on the flipside thereis no devil, clouds ans silver linings.'
Then again, that might be how they spell in the future (-; Nice one Cat.
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his watch loses twenty four hours a day | |
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Reply from cat
Hello Sunken. Thank you for your comments. I'm not really into sci-fi myself, infact I'm not really sure why I wrote this except for I couldn't sleep. Sorry about the typos and spelling, I should take more care or at least proof read, but I'm always in a hurry!
By the way may be 'he' should buy a new watch!
Thanks again c x
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Comment posted by beard
(08-12-2008 10:28)
Send beard a Private
Message | Hi Cat.
A nice concept, and sounds like there is more to come. At least, I hope there is. On the down side (and I am just as guilty) there needs to be some more proof reading. The typos make it a little stumbly to read in places.
Cheers
Brd. | |
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Reply from cat
Hi there, Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on my nonsense. Sorry about the typos, I read my piece and I agree, and you are very kind for it is more than a little stumbly! Promise to take more care.
c x |
Comment posted by Sunken
(14-12-2008 06:22)
Send Sunken a Private
Message | Perhaps the lack of sci-fi is reason enough to get it out there a bit more, Mr/Ms Cat? I just read your sub again. You definitely have a way with words, so whatever direction you take... ahem - may the force be with you. Sorry. That was very predictable wasn't it?
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he may have caused global warming after leaving the bathroom light on one night in 1997 | |
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Reply from cat
Hi there, It's miss and the force is always with me! Thank you for your comment c x |
Comment posted by Crackers
(02-03-2009 10:07)
Send Crackers a Private
Message | Cat! This lovely story of yours reminded me of Boriska's interview! It's on youtube! Project Camelot. Oh I wish chuck was here, he is John Titor in disguise. Cat! I am sure you also have invaluable info. We plan to shave the planet's population and we are going to use eco friendly foam! According to my estimated calculations and my calculated estimations, if we get rid of our hair we get rid of overpopulation! | |
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Reply from cat
Hi,
Well I wish your time travelling friend called Chuck was here too! Boriska...The Russian indigo child? I have not had the pleasure Mr Crackers, but I have of course heard of him, oh the possibilities!
Now, this eco foam of yours I trust it is non refundable? And of course by this I mean there is no need for one!
Well thank's for readin this private Crackersville, oh and thank you for the video too, I love a costume party!
Love cat x |
Comment posted by Crackers
(03-03-2009 11:36)
Send Crackers a Private
Message | Boriska is a crystal child in my opinion. You're welcome Cat. :-)) | |
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Comment posted by Greenwood
(15-11-2009 05:46)
Send Greenwood a Private
Message | Don't know if I could write an advanced critique but I liked the character in the last paragraph. The 'keeper' seems a curmudgeonly sort. Sharna must be the harbinger of our extinction, and the keeper's instrument for carrying out its schemes. I wanted to read more of it.
Greenwood | |
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Reply from cat
My Storm Trooper, hi
0o I love that word 'curmudgeonly' how are you? Thank you for reading this, I
Keep meaning to come back, trouble is I'm not so good at finishing things.
Catch up soon X
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Comment posted by Greenwood
(16-11-2009 01:55)
Send Greenwood a Private
Message | I read something a few years ago where an English Lord from your part of the world was described as 'curmudgeonly'.
The word stuck with me. I mean your 'part of the world' in that I live in the 'Antipodes'.
Greenwood | |
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Reply from cat
Antipodes - Australia or New Zealand?
Catherine X |
Comment posted by Greenwood
(18-11-2009 06:51)
Send Greenwood a Private
Message | Australia. We have plenty of New Zealand people here too though.
Greenwood | |
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