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Fiction: Leonardo Da Dog 12-01-2009 - by Mezzanotte   (421 words)
Flash Fiction

I was looking at my dog, wondering what he'd be like if her were super intelligent, or even intelligent, and then I got to thinking...what if...

                                                             Leonardo Da Dog



Whether it was a fabulous coincidence or indeed, written in the stars, Leonardo’s name was completely appropriate for his character – as, like the Renaissance original, Leonardo was a genius and a fore leader in original thought. At the tender age of three months, he’d already realized a simple and effective way to rapidly reverse the effects of climate change through a carbon substitute comprised of natural chemicals found in dog poo.

The only trouble was, that Leonardo was a dog, and had no way of communicating his brilliant ideas to his owners who, although very sweet and loveable, possessed no vision other than curry and chips and bottles of brown ale on a Saturday night.

Leonardo gave a lot of thought and worry to his situation. He’d possessed the cure for cancer now for a month, and not being able to share such important information was weighing far too heavily. The realistic fear that he’d never find a way to communicate his knowledge to mankind had made him lose his appetite and he had started to moult.

Although she didn’t understand him, Mrs. Curry and Chips loved her dog dearly, and called for Mr. Curry and Chips. The pair then put their heads together and came up with the only course of action they believed was available to them.

Leonardo was shaken from his depression by a strange sterile environment and a long syringe.

                                                             …………………..

He awoke with a dry throat and a nasty pain between his hind legs. On closer investigation, Leonardo saw a small neat wound where he was sure two furry balls had been. But this problem was immediately forgotten on the discovery of something much more interesting…his tail! Leonardo, ecstatic with his discovery, chased his tail all afternoon, until he was distracted by a cat and chased that instead.

Mr. and Mrs. Curry and Chips smiled affectionately at their young dog as he chowed down his second bowl of Pedigree Chum, and scratched ineffectually at a bothersome flea.

Mrs. Curry and Chips felt reassured by her dog’s normal doggy behaviour, and decided that the castration had been the right thing to do. And as Leonardo, in simple ecstasy, fetched the same stick for the hundredth time, Mr. Curry and Chips just had to express his pride. “He be a right clever one that dog!” he said.










Critique/comments welcome
Average Score: 9  /  Votes: 2



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Comment posted by Ania (12-01-2009 05:20) Send Ania a Private Message

Glad his namesake didn't suffer the same fate! I think he should have moulted not malted!

Ania

Reply from Mezzanotte
Dear Ania thanks for the comment,

sometimes if my spell checker can't pick up certain words I'm really caught out. Not good considering i'm an english teacher, haha.

Jackie


Comment posted by teifii (12-01-2009 05:54) Send teifii a Private Message

Nice fantasy on doggy minds. I must say I was quite unprepared for the cure for too much thinking. One of my digs met that fate too but it didn't blunt his brains and he went on to wriute his autobiography. Incidentally he didn't record the visit to the vet as described above.
Daff
Come and see me at my book shop http://www.merilang.co.uk/shop.htm

Reply from Mezzanotte
Dear Daff,

thanks for the comment. I know how important those two round things are to both man and beast, and often wonder if indeed, they don't distract a little from intelligent thought. Haha.

Glad your dog went on to write his autobiography, mine can't even cock his leg without falling over...

Jackie


Comment posted by beard (12-01-2009 09:23) Send beard a Private Message

OK, OUCH!
I wonder if that is where all men store their smarts? I don't think we should start a-choppin' to find out.
Over all, I like it. I think it could have been longer. I like the character of the dog - maybe he tried to communicate in interesting ways that were misinterpreted?
I didn't like the use of the word 'poop'. I Think there are better alternatives.
Really liked, however Mr. and Mrs. curry and chips. Brought a smile to my beard.

Brd.

Reply from Mezzanotte
Glad the story brought a smile to your beard.

I have a house full of men, ranging from my husband and children down to the dog - me and the cat are the only females and she's really very stuck up! Anyway, I know the importance of those round little 'smarts' to their owners, and so I let my imagination go that one step further.

By the way, i agree with the poop thing and changed it to poo instead.

Thanks for the comment
jackie


Comment posted by niece (13-01-2009 03:25) Send niece a Private Message

Good one, Jackie...short, sweet and very clever...

Regds,
niece

Reply from Mezzanotte
Thanks for commenting niece,

i wasn't sure if this story would go down well as it's a bit weird, but it seems to be doing okay.

Best wishes Jackie


Comment posted by Sunken (14-01-2009 12:19) Send Sunken a Private Message

The poor thing. How terrible. I'd hate to lose to my balls. Ya know, Ms. Jackie, I almost always wake up with my hands cusped around them. I don't know what that's about, but I find it strangely comforting. I do love my balls very much. Oh they may not be perfect, but they're mine and no one's cutting them off! Ahem. Sorry, you touched a nerve. Loved the story. I think Leonardo and Bernard would get on well. Does he need an assistant? Bernard, as well as looking great in a cap, can also cut quite a dash in a white lab coat.
Nice one, Jackie.

s
u
n
k
e
n

Reply from Mezzanotte
Wow,

I'm really surprised to see Bernard here. I thought he'd be hiding under a table with his legs tightly crossed. And I 've never known a man yet, who doesn't wake up with the crown jewels in his hands. I suppose dogs must have hand envy of humans...but what am i saying? They can get even closer and actually lick them, blow kisses and whisper sweet nothings...

Thanks for the Bernard.
Jackie


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