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There is no audio for this submission Poetry: Lost Among the Stars 18-01-2010 - by stormwolf   (66 words) A salutary poem about becoming too wrapped up in someone. The Sun looked at the Moon and wondered at her femininity, her graciousness, her ability to transform the mundane to the magical. The Moon looked to the Sun and admired greatly his awesome power that made seeds pierce the earth and flowers open; and so rapt were they in each other’s ability they did not see the need for twilight or dawn, and so were lost in their own imaginings. Critique/comments welcome Average Score: 0  /  Votes: 0   Printer Friendly Page    Send to a Friend -- NEW -- Social Book Mark This Page Digg del.icio.us Furl Comment posted by Jaws (18-01-2010 10:46) Send Jaws a Private Message Venus looked at Mars and was transfixed by his ability to become a bar; Mars looked at Venus and wondered at the Good Ship that had been named after her. Sorry, couldn't resist. I wonder what the moral of this poem is? Work first; infatuation later? And I can't help wondering what happened next. What did Mother Urfe have to say about it all? The public has a right to know! A good poem, but perhaps not quite finished? JJ Reply from stormwolf well the moral ..if there is one..is to embrace the twilights and dawns too in a relationship. By that I mean the states that are not all high passion of midday suns etc. It is a metaphorical poem and I feel that it was by intent brief ;-) Nice to hear your slant on it too. BTW Mother Urfe was too pre-occupied with assaults on her body to take any notice ;-/ Alison x Comment posted by macaby (20-01-2010 10:23) Send macaby a Private Message A good parable I would say. Cheers mac Reply from stormwolf Hi Mac Thanks for commenting as always Alison x Comment posted by barenib (20-01-2010 12:37) Send barenib a Private Message Alison - lovely idea and very true; we often pigeon-hole people by what we like/dislike about them without considering the inbetween. May I suggest for the last line 'were lost in their own imaginings' which may give it a better flow. A good poem, John. Reply from stormwolf Hi John Thanks for reading and commenting. I have amended it and value your input ;-) Alison x Comment posted by jay12 (21-01-2010 01:33) Send jay12 a Private Message The moon is nice, but you should check out the mountains on Mars! Nice poem. Jay. Reply from stormwolf ah but Mars does not have the feminine energy...I always think of Mars as male ;-) Alison x Comment posted by flyboy (24-01-2010 06:03) Send flyboy a Private Message Thought provoking. Reply from stormwolf yes indeed. I try not to look too long at the sun now ;-) Alison x Please Login or register to post comments

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